Dude...I'm sitting on a bed of nails

No, I am not receiving tetanus from the ass, but thanks for the concern anyway. My dear friend who resides in Tifton just sent me this awesome song titled "Bed  of Nails" (hence the title) by Rockapella. Rockapella actually created the theme song for the TV show "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" that was popular when I was like three or so. Actually, a funny thing occurred today. Two different people who I am certain that have never met each other before informed me today about Rockapella and their creation for the theme song. It's not everyday somebody brings up that show, but its like finding a needle in a haystack  when it is mentioned twice within 24. It  pitiful that this is what I find amusing in my life.

****Here's a link to the song on youtube, because I am ridiculous and have no ability to perform a simple task such as uploading a youtube video****

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF-SkUHUbYs

So, a dear comrade of mine and I attended a Bar-Mitzvah this morning. We went to bed at five, after watching countless videos on youtube, and I set my alarm for nine. I kept hitting the snooze button and eventually made my way out of bed  around 9:50 or so. Evidently, the invention of the alarm is very effective on me.

So, we go to synagogue, coffeeless, and sit through a three hour service. Literally, this was a conglomeration of the average service, Shavout (a holiday for all you goys), and a Bar Mitzvah piled into one. It was long long long long long long long. Even I, who is a Jew and is use to long services found this one quite lengthy.  The lox was delicious. Period.

Oh, so when I was at synagogue, I ran into a relative of the individual who crack-dials me. I informed them of his actions and they informed me that he has been very sick lately. Apparently  this was not the average  cold or flu, but an allergic reaction to his dog. He couldn't  leave the house it was so bad. Is this possible? The five minutes I spent googling this, nothing came up. I don't believe this exists and this person is a hypochondriac. I really hope they read this.

Other than that, I attended the party of this Bar Mitzvah and returned home a mere two hours ago. It was uneventful, mainly because there were no people my age , (well, there was this one guy...). Well, to add a little zest to this simcha I played a little game I like to refer to as "Lets Be 21."

The results: I Won :)

 

I feel lazy! A feeling of lethargy is sweeping my body. Actually, it tends to affect my body at the most unconventional times. For instance, I was with some friends at a local Barnes and Nobles around 9:30 or so last night and I fell asleep in once of those big-ass cushy chairs they have there. I wonder where they actually obtain those chairs because I swear they are the most comfortable chairs ever produced on this planet. Well any who, turns out I fell asleep then, but after I drove everyone home and returned to my quarters, sleep was unable to conquer my body. I probably didn't fall asleep till around 4 or 5 or so, and when I did, I was awoken at 8 because inhabitants of my house have no ability to get ready for work in a quiet, non-discreet manner. Screw that! 

It's disconcerting that I have nothing better to write about than my irregular sleeping patterns. 

Wait... I just thought of something semi-entertaining to enlighten the world regarding my life. Well...you may not find it entertaining, but it most certainly added a tad bit of dazzle to the monotony. I have this acquaintance who resides in the great city of Miami, who does a lot of crack. Occasionally, (mainly like once a month) I am the recipient of a deranged phone call from this individual, which mainly consists of meaningless babble. In return, the individual is the first on my list to receive calls when I may not be inebriated. So, around 2 in the morning today, this individual performed his monthly ritual. This time he was actually pretty coherent (for him) and his phone didn;t break up. He asked if I was related to a "Bosnan Hirsh" in which he demanded that I say "yes." Then he asked me if I was a cat. He's a character.

Other than this, I have nothing else to say, but if insominia takes a hold of me tonight, I might be back on here ranting and raving over God-knows-what.

So it's 3:29 am..and I'm doing this because???????

So, I'm sitting here, in my room, pondering...life. No not really, but I just noticed that me typing on this keyboard is causing my  bed to gyrate, furthermore, giving the impression that some form of sexual activity is occurring in my bedroom. This is false ( or is it?????).

 So this is my first post ( thank you Captain Obvious) and the reasons to giving birth to this "blogger" are still uncertain  to me. I don't have  much to say, and when I do have something to say it's usually fruitless and immature. If your here to collect some "intellectual wisdom" or to read a dissertation that proves the Big Bang Theory to be false, you might as well depart this teepee. If you want to know a direct purpose to the creation of this blog, you should probably pour oil on the teepee and set it to fire. If I even bother to continue on with this "blogger", the purpose of it might eventually evolve. Also, for those who don't know me (well, it's not like anyone will actually read this blog anyway) you will probably come to the realization that I am the official matriarch of procrastination and that I have this awful addiction to listening to nonconventional music while jumping on trampolines. Unfortunately my trampoline collapsed last week which has forced me to enter a twelve step program to deal with my addiction.  I don't feel conceited enough to inform the world random, pointless facts regarding my personality that one usually answers on those stupid myface interviews; so screw that fact that that you will never know my favorite color or if I feel emotionally connected to the last person who stuck their tongue in my mouth. I feel compelled to inform you (if a "you"really does exist) that I have just completed my first year of college in the butthole of South Georgia. I have no idea what on earth I should do with my life, which is perfectly fine with me. Psychology intrigues me. Sometimes, I just sit in the most random of randomist places  and just watch people. Not stalk, but watch. I also enjoy watching the people deliver the newspaper at 4:03 in the morning. They always come by in this beat-up old truck and throw the paper in the drive. The light is always on in the truck, so I usually get a quick glimpse of the stack of papers sitting next to the driver. One morning, this summer, I will stand outside and greet the person who delivers the paper. Then we shall be facebook buddies! Not really. I definitely want a picture with this person, so I can post it on here to prove to all my attentive readers that the newspaper person really does exist. On occasion, I emit vibes of apathy to various individuals which results in them bugging me to create a so-called "goals list." Next time someone approaches me regarding details to my "summer goals" I will politely inform them that I wish to meet, greet, take a picture, and be facebook buddies with the newspaper person. I'm pretty positive they would expect my initial response to involve some riff raff about obtaining a job. Screw that!

Well... I just dedicated a good forty minutes or so to "blogging" (so thats what the kids are calling it these days). I have to get up early and pick the dirty underwear off my floor. I have friends coming over to go swimming tomorrow (if God remembers to takes is detrol) and it would be such a shame for them to see the my barbie, skid-marked underwear. Ciao!!!!!